Chapter
1
The
sunlight peeks through my curtains. With a sigh, I drag my pillow over my head.
That does nothing to lull me back to sleep, so I groan as I roll over to grab
my phone to check the time. Only 6:02 in the morning. I don’t have to be at school
for another hour and fifty eight minutes. I stretch as I know there will be no
more sleeping this morning. I push my legs over my bed and because it’s ancient
it creaks and dips so low it practically touches the floor.
I
drag myself up and walk over to my dresser to look for something to wear. Something
to make me blend in. To not be noticed. I don’t like having attention drawn to
myself. It’s not like I’m anything like the other girls at school. I’m just
barely 5'3 with dirty blonde hair that has a little too much frizz in it, an underdeveloped
body, and insanely high cheek bones that make my face look hollow. I sigh as I
look in the mirror that hangs above my dresser.
I
start rummaging through my drawers to find something to put on. I pull out a gray
boyfriend fitting tee shirt, some jeans and rush to the bathroom before my stepfather,
Frank, notices I am awake and tries to ask me to do him a favor before I have
to get to school. He’s always causing me to be late. School is the only place
he can't get to me. The only place where I feel safe from him. As I shuffle
down the hall and reach the bathroom I quickly go in, shut the door, and lock
it. I start the shower and stare at my sorry complexion as I wait for the water
to warm up.
Forty-five
minutes later I am showered, dressed, and heading for the door to leave hoping
to make it to the local coffee shop before school starts. I need my coffee due
to the lack of shut-eye I get. Sleep? What’s sleep? I am solely surviving off
of caffeine and delirium these days.
"Maddie,
I need you to run something to one of my clients before you go to school,"
Frank yells from the kitchen. Frank, the asshole. Fuck, what a winner my mom
picked. If there was an award for con artist of the decade he would hold the
title. He used to be a decent-looking guy, until years of fraud and paranoia
caught up to him. His dark brown hair now dusted with the whole salt and pepper
look. He stands about six foot tall. He has acquired a stomach that makes his
shirts stretch tight around his belly. He also has the creepiest eyes. They
always look like they are constructing an evil plan. If they fall on you, you
know things are about to go down. I stop and take a breath, thinking that will
help me to calm down, and then turn and head toward the kitchen. He hands me a
manila colored envelope. I sigh and take it from him.
"The
address is on the front of the envelope. Put the address into your phone and
make sure he gets this. I can't afford for you to mess this up this time,"
he scolds.
Without
a word, I turn toward the door hoping to get out of here before any more time
is lost or I get asked to do something else. I walk fast to my car, hop in and
pull away from my house.
As
I make my way down the streets of suburban Southern California, “The Valley,"
I can't help but laugh to myself. People think just because you live in
California that you fit a certain mold of the ridiculously gorgeous, sun-kissed
beach babe. That is not me! I am anything but that. It’s early April, so it is
starting to warm up in preparation for summer so I roll down my window, blasting
my music in my car. The sound of Soldiers by Otherwise blares through my
speakers taking the edge off of my morning.
I
finally reach my destination. Putting my car in park and shutting it off, I
hesitate to move from my seat as I regroup, dreading the delivery I am making.
I finally climb out of my car and head to the front door and knock twice, half
hoping no one will answer. The door swings open and I am paralyzed with fear.
Then suddenly everything goes black.
Nausea takes over as I am coming
to. The smell in the room is unfamiliar and I know I am not in my own bed
anymore. I try to scream for my mom, but I can’t because my mouth is covered by
something.
I
am snapped back into place by a familiar voice clearing his voice. In front of
me stands a young man who is tall with light brown hair pulled back into a
ponytail and extremely broad shoulders and glacier blue eyes. If I didn’t know
him for the snake he is, I would say he is handsome. I hate that he makes me
tremble with fear. I didn't think I would ever see him again after the last
time he laid those eyes on me. I thought he was forced to leave. Frank has some
explaining to do.
"Hello,
Maddison. Nice to see you again. I see Frank has you doing his dirty work again,"
I
smash the envelope into his chest and turn to leave. He grabs my elbow holding
me in place. His touch repulses me, but still has the power to paralyze me.
"Always
nice to see you. Why don't you come in and we can catch up?" I am barely
breathing as I yank my arm out of his grasp.
"When
did you get back? I thought you were leaving town for good, Dixon?" Instead
of waiting around for an answer I step back quickly and dart for my car, not
looking back, but I can hear him chuckle. Once I am in the safety of my car, I
lock my doors and speed away. The smooth stucco house looks so benign in my
rearview but inside it is a person who has caused me too much pain in my
relatively short life. The person who shattered my innocent world in a moment
without hesitation. And it feels like it is happening all over again. It might
as well be hell. My breaths catch in my throat as I gasp for air, trying to
forget.
I
barely make it to the coffee shop. It takes me what feels like forever to get
out of the car and into the little shop to grab my morning fix. I am still
shaken by my encounter with Dixon. After I pay and get my coffee in hand, I
walk outside and sit down at the little table that’s been set up in front of
shop to collect myself before I head to school. It's been three years since I
have seen him and it makes me sick to think that he is back here and is going
to make my life even more uncomfortable than it already is. I mentally prepare
for what is about to happen now that he is back. I just keep reminding myself
that only three more months and I turn eighteen. When that clock strikes
midnight I am out of this place filled with fake people who don't even care
what happened to me.
I
finally get to school fifteen minutes late. As I run out of the parking lot and
jog to the front doors of the school, I suddenly collide with what feels like a
cement wall. My coffee cup smashes between me and someone, sending scalding coffee
down the front of my shirt. My binder goes flying in the air, making it rain
down with papers and sending me falling back until I land with a thump on my
butt. "Shit, that burns," I screech as I try to wipe the burning off
my skin. I look up to find the greenest eyes, spikey chocolate brown hair, and
a strong jaw line looking down at me. If you could take the clean cut boy out
of some trendy clothing catalog and stick em’ right here right now, that is
what I have just collided with. My heart is fluttering the craziest beats as I stare
into his eyes. I have never seen eyes this green. I am frozen in time, taking
in every detail of his face. I am mesmerized. This feeling is way to foreign to
me, so I quickly compose my outer self as my insides are doing flips.
"I
am so sorry, here let me help you." He leans down extending me his hand to
help me up.
As
I start picking up the papers, he crouches down to help me. He hands me a handful.
I take them from him quickly and start to feel the embarrassment hit me as I
scramble as fast as I can to finish gathering them so I can get away from him.
"No,
I got it."
“I’m
really sorry,” he repeats to me.
“It’s
okay.” I quickly stand up, try to compose myself, and then rush through the
doors to get a late pass. Thankfully, I grabbed my sweatshirt this morning so
now have something to cover up the coffee stains on my shirt. I don’t need any
more looks from the kids here than I already get.
My
first period is History and is pretty uneventful. I sit in the back of the
class and keep to myself. Today I just can't seem to focus, though. All I can
think about are those green eyes. God, they were beautiful! I shake my head. What
is happening? I don’t even know why I am thinking about this. This is why I
don't get involved with people. Nobody wants to hang out with the flawed girl
who can’t bring anybody to her house or Frank might lose his "clients."
If people find out it could spoil my plans to get out of here. To find
somewhere who doesn't harbor these memories and where nobody will know me. Then
I can finally have some peace in my life.
"Maddison.
Maddison," Mr. Shultz calls my name, pulling me from the trance I was in.
I
glance up. "I'm sorry, Mr. Shultz, I didn't hear you."
He
continues to explain to the class our homework for the night. Just as he is
finishing up, the bell rings and everybody files out through the doors. I put
my things away in no rush to hurry to my next class because it is only two
rooms over. My locker is on the way. As I round the desks and head out the door
I bump into somebody and almost fall to the ground again, but this time strong
hands grab my shoulders keeping me from falling. I pull back finding his magnificent eyes on me again and
this time I linger just a little bit longer looking deeply into them.
"Um,
I’m sorry. I just can't seem to stop running into you today," he says.
I
look down to the ground, embarrassed. "That’s okay. I seem to be really
out of it today. I should watch where I am walking." I pull myself
together and start toward my locker.
"So
I'm Jase, um, Jase Wesley." He extends his hand to me.
I
shyly shake his hand. I hope he doesn't notice how clammy my hand is from
nerves. I
"I
am Maddie, Maddison Walters. Nice to meet you, but I have to get going so I’m
not late to my next class." I make my way down the hall. I can feel him
following me and it’s making me wonder if I should flee. I stop at my locker,
switch books, and head to my next class. I jump at the loud slam of a locker,
and I look around to see if he’s still there. I feel silly because there is
nobody around. I always feel like I’m being watched. Like they are watching.
I
take my usual seat at the back and start unloading the stuff I need for this
class when someone takes a seat next to me. Taking a quick peek at who just sat
down next to me, I notice Jase. Whispers from the kids in front of him get my
attention. I look back to my desk when I notice one of the kids pointing at me.
"Looks
like we have English Lit together, Maddie. How did I get so lucky?" That
last statement turns me into complete panic mode. My breaths are coming in
raggedly as I try to calm down. He reaches over and puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Are
you okay?”
The
sincerity that I see in his eyes helps relieve some of the panic.
"Is
something wrong? Was it something I said?” he asks, concerned.
I
take a minute to try and figure out how to explain this to him. "Jase, you
seem like a really nice guy and I’m sure you have a lot of friends here, but I
just don't have time for friends right now. I'm sorry". He studies my face
inquisitively.
"I’m
new here. This is my first day. Haven’t you noticed I’ve never been in this
class before? I don't know anybody. I was just trying to be friendly and
introduce myself".
I
suck in a deep breath and force a smile. "Oh, you must think I’m crazy.
Welcome to Roosevelt High School. I hope you enjoy your senior year." I
turn around and get ready for class to start.
My
day pretty much goes on the same. Jase is in four out of five of my classes, so
far. There isn't really much use in trying to stay away. He sits by me in all of
my classes already and he is always glancing my way. The only way I know that
is because he has caught me looking at him a couple of times. It’s hard to
resist because has the greenest eyes I have ever seen. His brown hair all
spiked up, frames his incredible, smooth face that I would just love to run my
hand down. I immediately try and stop my head from thinking these very
thoughts.
I
take a seat in the last class of the day just hoping that this day will just
hurry up and end already, so I can go home and lock myself in my room and not
be distracted. I have a lot of homework and I need to go over my notes from the
day because Mr. Green Eyes has gotten in my head and made me so unfocused. This
is not me. Just as I am getting my binder out for my notes, I see him stride in
the door. Only this time there is no empty seat near me. I exhale thinking I am
lucky he won’t be next to me in this class. As he takes his seat in the front
of the class, he turns to scan the room and we meet eyes. I know this will be
the longest class ever. Class drags on with my anticipation of the bell
ringing. Jase gets up about ten minutes before class ends, whispers something
to the teacher, and leaves class.
Finally,
after fifty five dreadful minutes the bell rings. I quickly gather my things
and shuffle out of the door. I walk down the halls faster than normal, trying
to escape this overwhelming feeling that I keep getting every time he is close
to me. Feelings I can’t explain start to take over and I know it can’t be good.
I get outside and round the corner only to see Jase standing at the gate that
leads into the parking lot.
"Shit,"
I mutter under my breath. I start toward my car with my head down hoping he
won’t see me, so I can just go about my day as I normally do.
"Where
are you running off to so fast, Maddie?" he says as he follows me to my
car.
"I’m
heading home. I have lots of homework to do. Hope you had a nice first
day." I walk even faster now trying to avoid his questions, but he’s right
there next to me as I race to my car.
"Since
I’m new in town I was wondering if you could show me around. I haven't been
able to go out and explore since I moved here."
This
guy can't take a hint. "Look, I don't know how to make this any clearer
for you. I am not interested in getting to know you or showing you around. I
don't have the time and I’m sure there are girls at this school that would be
more than willing to take you on a tour I’m sorry. I have to go.” With that I
hop in my car and head home as fast as I can to get away from him. Of course, that
doesn't stop me from looking back in the rear-view mirror as I peel away from
my spot. He is still standing in the same spot I left him in, watching as my
car takes off.
